The month of February emphasizes romantic and platonic relationships. February is the perfect time to be mindful of our relationships and evaluate whether we are in healthy situations. It can be difficult to manage both types of relationships on top of the stressors of high school, especially at such a vulnerable age when the people we surround ourselves with perpetually impact who we are. Unfortunately, not all relationships are healthy and it is important to recognize red flags to prevent future harm.
The term “green flag” represents desirable traits in a partner or platonic relationship; on the other hand, the term “red flag” (originating from literal warning signs) is used to describe “icks” or traits to avoid if spotted in a relationship.
Allowing these red flags and toxic relationships in your life as an adolescent carries over into adulthood, which can permanently affect your friendships and relationships with others. Trauma from relationships directly causes trust issues and insecure attachment styles; however, these long-term effects can be terminated by obtaining the knowledge and psychological maturity to identify damaging relationships.
Relationships should add to your life in a positive manner, not make your life strenuous. Setting boundaries, providing open communication, listening, and resolving conflicts are all aspects of healthy relationships.
What should you do if you find yourself stuck in a relationship that fits some of the “red-flag” criteria, but you’re not sure if it could be classified as unhealthy? If you’re having doubts about a romantic or platonic relationship, trust your instincts! Here are some green and red flags to look out for:

Green Flags:

1. Open/honest communication

Each individual can safely express their emotions, thoughts, and opinions to resolve issues.

2. Emotional Maturity

Taking responsibility for their mistakes, having empathy, and self-awareness.

3. Respecting boundaries

Recognizing and remembering each other’s personal space and needs.

Red Flags:

1. Controlling behavior

One person tries to be in charge and dictate what a person can or can not do, often using manipulation.

2. Physical/emotional abuse

Intentionally causing harm to someone. This can include violent behaviors, intimidation, belittlement, and purposeful insults.

3. Gaslighting/dishonesty

The use of lying and manipulation to control an individual and warp their sense of truth.