I love rom-coms. Or, for those who prefer the proper name, romantic comedies. As indicated by their name, the lightheartedness of rom-com plots perfectly mixes with their humor to trick us into believing true love conquers all and does not require work.
Although they often all follow the same timeline—boy meets girl in an obscure way, they fall in love, face a major conflict, defy all odds, and live happily ever after—the only thing that gets old is their incorrect portrayal of reality.
First of all, their meet-cutes are totally and completely unrealistic. Meet-cutes—a random first encounter between two people that ultimately leads to romance—often lead people to have unrealistic expectations about the real world. While they are fun to think about, the actual chances of a meet-cute happening in real life are slim to none.
A simple example of this is when the new girl at school drops her books and a handsome “Prince Charming” helps her pick them up, accidentally touching her hand. I am now in my third year of high school and I can thankfully say that I have never seen this happen.
Oftentimes, meet-cutes are characterized as a product of fate: the protagonist meets the perfect person at the perfect time, and they quickly, if not immediately, fall in love with each other—almost like love at first sight. However, in reality, it is nearly impossible to develop a connection with someone just by touching their hand. Like come on, who is going to fall for that? Creating a meaningful connection with someone takes time and effort, which most romantic comedies do not portray.
Most rom-coms are idealized love stories. They depict love as something simple, easy, and perfect, creating unrealistic expectations about love for those who watch it. They gloss over the emotional work required in relationships, the compromises made, and the conflicts underlying many relationships. Although romantic comedies do have conflict, it is often resolved quickly.
Rom-coms make love and relationships seem effortless when real love is actually the complete opposite. They ignore how relationships take time and communication, instead sending out the false ideal that love is effortless. The fairy-tale nature of romantic comedies creates unrealistic expectations, eventually leading to disappointment when people find that love is not like it is in the movies.
Regardless of any challenges faced by the couple, in rom-coms, they almost always end up together, living happily ever after without addressing the obstacles they faced throughout the movie, completely undermining the knowledge that love requires real work and effort. This oversimplified portrayal of love is unreasonable and leads viewers to believe that love is the solution to all of their problems.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a great rom-com. In fact, I believe that they are entertaining and fulfill their name—romantic comedy. However, I believe that romantic comedies are incredibly over-generalized and do not represent what real life is like at all, which creates false expectations of what life and love should be like. The blueprint-like nature of each rom-com is not what gets old; it’s the continuation of false and unrealistic portrayals of love that make them so repetitive.
Love is not something that magically occurs because of coincidences or fate; it is something that takes effort, communication, and compromise—elements that are conveniently ignored in rom-coms.