Whether it be about relationships, choices, or life in general, my friends have always come to me for advice. But, the truth is that I often find myself saying the things that I would like to hear for myself. I just wish that people would tell me to stop worrying. I tend to be my own worst enemy—constantly worrying about every little thing in my life— and I’ll never understand why.
Although I try to plan for my future, it is challenging for me to accept that every decision I make won’t necessarily determine my life’s outcome. I often find myself wondering if I’ve made the right choices, questioning what could’ve been if I said something else, took a different path, or made a different decision. To me, everything seems like “the end of the world.”
Every mistake, bad grade, awkward interaction, bad game, and falling out makes me feel like my life is over. And even though I can’t change what I said or did, I can still feel the weight of it in the present and I can still obsessively worry about it later. I look back at events that occurred a few months ago and realize how small they were, yet, in the moment, they still affected me greatly. I sometimes wish there was a way I could take back the time and energy I wasted worrying unnecessarily, and redirect it towards my life now.
Time is a massive source of great anxiety for me, and the thought of running out fills me with discomfort and dread. Maybe growing up scares me, or maybe it’s just that I feel like I have too little time. I ask myself if I will ever have the time to try new things, the time to meet new people, and the time to have fun. Each year as I grow older, I feel like I am losing more and more time, and it terrifies me. As time continues to pass, I feel like I’m falling further and further behind. I wish there were something I could do, a way to take back all of the time I have lost worrying about it and worrying about how my choices will change my path.
Perhaps my constant worrying is due to social anxiety, and the fear of what others will think of me, or maybe it’s just plain fear. Regardless of the reason, I know that holds me back from enjoying my life to the fullest. I waste an enormous amount of my time worrying about other people’s perceptions of me.
Because of this, the constant pressure to live up to the expectations of others, including my friends, family, and classmates is overwhelming. I constantly worry about being judged and criticized. It feels like with every step I take, somebody is watching me, even when I am alone. I know that there will always be people who will judge me and criticize me, no matter where I am. But at the same time, my perception of this attention is distorted due to my constant overthinking.
However, I have realized that worrying about what others think of me is a waste of my time and energy. There will always be someone to judge and criticize me, no matter where I am. Asking myself what I could have done differently is unproductive, and it only holds me back from moving forward.
Fortunately, I discovered this about myself at an early stage in my life and I am beginning to take my own advice. By focusing on the present and letting go of my worries about the past and future, I have been able to explore new things, meet new people, and have fun without the fear of being judged. There have been numerous times in my life when my worries have consumed me, and I have missed out on so many meaningful experiences. Now, I am committed to living in the present and enjoying my life to the fullest. There isn’t enough time in our lives to spend worrying about what’s coming next or what has happened in the past. Rather, spend your time living your own life, not the life others have cut out for you.
