“Don’t compare yourself to others” was the one piece of advice always given to me throughout my college application cycle. I know people meant well, but it came off like a consolation for being unsuccessful. In my head, this translated to: “I know other people were more successful and better than you, but that is okay.” Even though it was solid advice, it came off in the wrong way, especially from people who weren’t even in the application process. Now, as someone who just committed to college, and was in a constant state of panic from October through March of my senior year, here is my unsolicited advice.

1. Keep to yourself

Have a prepared, simplistic answer for when that random family friend asks where you are going to college at Thanksgiving dinner, well before most decisions have even been released. In the same regard, do not take too much advice from parents and teachers reading your essays and helping you make everything perfect. This is about you, and your future,so at the end of the day you need to do what is best for you.
Yes, all your friends are going through the same process, at the same time. Share your worries, and discuss your dreams for the future, but make sure you discuss other topics and that you continue to live your life. If college is all you talk about, you will fall into the trap of comparing yourself to your friends. The process of figuring out what you want to do for the next four years needs to be personal.

2. You only need one
I grew up on those videos on YouTube of some of the smartest kids in the country applying to 25 schools and getting into every. Single. One. It seems so unfair that one person gets all these good things, but you have to remind yourself that you only get to attend one college, so one is all that matters.

3. Just because the outcome isn’t what you dreamed of, does not mean that you cannot live the life of your dreams

This is inevitable. Some people are going to apply and get into the university they have always wanted. But, for every one person that gets into their dream school, there are many more people that did not. The very idea of a dream school is convoluted. You have not lived there, gone to classes, made friends and truly experienced that school, so why is it the one you have hyper fixated on?

College admissions have a sneaky way of making you feel awful about yourself, and then sending you to the place you were meant to be. Remember, it is about more than your essay, GPA and ACT scores; it is about whether you fit the culture of the school in a way where you will be uplifted to become as successful as possible. Try not to cling to the idea of a dream school, and instead focus on making sure your values and personality come through in your applications so you will be matched at the school you truly belong at.