Learning to love the most difficult person: yourself


Bhaavya Jha

JOURNALS AND JOY. Many people maintain a journal not only for the pleasing and aesthetic looks, but also for helping them keep track of their thoughts and emotions. This could be an important step in the process of accepting and loving yourself. “I like to keep a journal because it helps me process all my thoughts, even my negative ones sometimes that I might deny otherwise,” said Farzona Samieva, a junior who maintains a journal on a regular basis.

It has been exactly 178 days since I began on this journey, and now I want you to join me. It costs zero money, almost no time, and results in a much happier life. It is loving yourself.


Like most people, I’ve made many and plenty mistakes in my life. I have many faults, and I have many more fears, but I’m gonna embrace myself as hard as I can, and I’m starting to love myself gradually just little by little,” said Kim Namjoon, the leader of global sensation BTS, in his speech at the United Nations.


Like many beautiful people, I have flaws and at one point, I was insecure about them, I almost tortured my mind for it, and it was not long before I realized that this was wrong because this is just how I am, who I am, and I can not change that. So, here I am, ready to share how I overcame this obstacle and how anyone can, too.


Firstly, you need to open up and explore your emotions. I did that by maintaining a daily journal in which not only would I write how I feel every day, but also maintained a mood chart which really helped me in the long term process. Other ways to do it include confiding in a best friend, maintaining a voice recording journal, or simply acknowledging your feelings by talking to yourself in the mirror.


The next step is a little harder and may take time to get through, so do not get frustrated. You need to accept your flaws as a part of you and stop thinking of them negatively. I accomplished this by making a list of everything I thought of as an imperfection, such as my thin hair, and then crossed them out one by one by making logical arguments or by finding out something good in that flaw. For example, I crossed out my thin hair by thinking of my natural curls and how pretty that makes me look. The item on the list does not have to be a physical body part, it could be a habit or a personality trait. Another way to do this is by taking pictures of the flaw and then a picture of something pretty associated with it, which could be a good memory or a joke or even a person, and then lining them up against each other for comparison.


Once you have crossed all those items on the list, it is time to give yourself a good, old pep talk. I would often speak to myself as if I were cheering up my love partner or occasionally I would become a bold and witty woman. The talk could be something that happened in the day or it could be during your test so you do not panic. 


Other things that you could do to help you through this process are forgiving your past and forming close relationships with loved ones as they will truly support you throughout the process.


Stop judging yourself, embrace the things that society has called ‘ugly’,” said Ashley Graham, a popular American model. Quotes like these can also boost your day and really help you through the process.


So now that you have buckled your seatbelt, get ready to join this adventurous trip with emotions, inner self, and your mind.